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There are moments when it looks like you have a choice.
And then there are moments when you realize you don’t, not really. You just get to decide what kind of person you are going to be when it happens.
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This was one of those.
My wife’s flight to Japan had just taken off when my phone rang. The company needed me back in the office the next morning.
That, by itself, wasn’t the issue.
The deal had always been clear: work remote unless sales numbers slip. Mine had slipped. The expectation to come back in was part of what I agreed to when I took the job.
What wasn’t part of the deal was the timing.
No notice. No runway. Just “be there tomorrow.”
The office is an hour away. With a lunch break, that’s eleven hours out of the house.
I was the only one home to take care of our six pets. There wasn’t time to line up help. There wasn’t even time to think.
So I asked my manager if there was any leeway, since my wife wouldn’t be back until July 7th. She checked with the owner.
The answer came back: no. Be in tomorrow, or you no longer work here.
That was the choice.
I packed up their equipment and took it in right away.
If you’ve read my other newsletters, you know this pattern. You’ve seen the environment before. This wasn’t an isolated incident. It was a system that runs on urgency, pressure, and finding the next person to make an example of.
Once again, I found myself in a situation where there wasn’t a real choice. Only consequences.
But that’s only half the story.
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Before any of this happened, I had a conversation with my manager. I mentioned my wife was going to Japan. She said her son, about ten years old, loved Japanese things. I told her I’d have my wife bring something back for him. Pokémon cards. Japanese candy. Something small, but thoughtful.
After all of this, I thought about that promise.
And the truth is, I was always going to follow through.
Not because of them. Not because it was the “right thing” in some abstract sense.
Because I said I would.
That was it.
The kid had nothing to do with any of this. But even beyond that, backing out would have had nothing to do with him either. It would have been me deciding that someone else’s behavior gets to change mine.
I’m not interested in that trade.
So I had my wife pick up the gifts anyway.
The day after she got back, I drove to the office and dropped them off.
I ran into one of the owners on the way in. I handed her the bag and told her it was for my manager’s son. She asked if I wanted to see my manager.
I said no thank you and left.
No confrontation. No closure. No speech.
Just done.
I haven’t forgiven the company. I haven’t wrapped this up into something clean. That part is still unresolved.
It just felt like being consistent with myself.
Because at a certain point, it stops being about them.
It’s about whether I keep my word.
It’s about whether I let someone else’s decisions dictate who I am.
It’s about whether I respect the person making the call.
I couldn’t control how they handled it. I couldn’t control the outcome.
But I can control that.
And that’s the part I have to live with.
- Neon
Thank you so much for reading