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I’m tired of my job
And I know I’m not the only one.
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I’m tired of being in situations I don’t want to be in watching the days go by while I’m standing in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, for the wrong reasons.
I’m not saying this for sympathy. I’m saying it because I think you know exactly what I mean.
I’ve always been able to make the best of bad situations. That stopped working.
There’s only so many times you can talk yourself into something before it stops working.
It’s not just being tired. It’s erosion.
Every day you show up and play a version of yourself that doesn’t fit. And over time, something wears down. You feel it.
What’s saving me right now is this. Writing. This newsletter.
It lets me take everything that doesn’t feel right and turn it into something I actually care about.
I’m also writing a book about my life the Hollywood years, the punk rock years, all of it. The life I actually lived before I ended up sitting at a desk doing someone else’s work.
That’s where I come alive. Here. Telling the truth.
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And to everyone who reads this thank you. It matters more than you probably think.
I used to wander Hollywood at 4am looking for something—anything to get into. Something strange. Something that made me feel like I was actually living.
Now I’m here. Sitting in a place that doesn’t fit. Doing something that doesn’t feel right.
The contrast isn’t lost on me.
I’ve spent years looking for this kind of creative outlet..
Now I have it.
I’m not wasting it.
— Neon